Questions ...

A good friend of our is dealing with some serious health issues and while I pray and ask God for a miracle, I also wonder why this friend? Why now?

When I was growing up, it wasn't O.K. to question God. Often I heard "It's God's will and we accept it." Occasionally, I did hear prayer for miracles, but when the healing didn't happen the blame shifted to either "you must have sinned and this is why you aren't being healed" OR "God just doesn't want to heal you." Neither sat very well with me. Maybe this is why the first 30 some years of my life I was terrified of God.

As I reflect on this, I think I've shifted radically in my beliefs about my relationship with God and how He feels about me asking "WHY?"

I think it's O.K., because as I look in the bible I see many examples of people asking why; For example, take a look at Job, like him I may have to wait for 40 chapters of my life to hear anything from God, and even then, it may not be what I ever thought I needed, but the 40 chapters of my life with God will have been worth it.

And then in Psalms, David questions God quite often and he was still greatly loved and blessed.

I suppose the sticky part is when we get lost in the question and never move on.

And another huge example; Jesus questioned God ... and that "Why?" didn’t keep him lost in the garden.

So maybe instead of just asking God “Why are things the way they are?” I need to say, “OK, because things are the way they are ... "what then should I do?"

True Love ...

Since it's February and I've been thinking a lot about "love" and the upcoming Valentine holiday, I thought it appropriate to share this amazing eulogy written by Scott Edelman (a gifted writer & editor) on the passing of his father last month.

If only I could do half as well with communicating my love to Jon and the girls.

Scott Edelman spoke these words at his father's funeral;

I have known my father, really known him, for all of my life. Not every child is lucky enough to have been able to say that.

Some children miss out on their fathers because they decide to be physically absent, choosing work or hobbies over spending time with their kids. Other parents are emotionally absent, not letting their children see that they even have emotions, hiding who they really are, maybe because they are embarrassed by their feelings, or afraid that real men don't cry, or hug, or kiss their children.

With my father, I wanted for nothing. Dad was always there for me in both body and spirit, showing me by his living example what it was like to be a father and a husband, that it was possible for a man to show tenderness, to be unafraid of open affection with his children, and to be a loving husband. He was selfless with us all.

It is impossible to speak of my father without also speaking of my mother, because they were one. Together, they showed me what true love was like, taught me what a marriage should be. Dad loved us all more than he loved himself. When it became too hard for him to live on, the pain that was the greatest for him was never his own, but rather the pain that he saw in us.

At tragic times like these, so many families are worried about all the things left unsaid because they were not brave enough to say them and they ran out of time.

We were lucky, because of my father's openness, in that we always said to each other what needed to be said from the moment I was born. There are no regrets about that thanks to his openness, his willingness, his understanding and his love.

But the most important thing I can say about my father is that through our relationship he was able to spare me the void that so many men have in themselves.

The world is filled with adult men who never heard their father say “I love you,” who wonder throughout their lives whether they were loved. I talk to friends about this and see it in magazines and newspapers, and I have always been amazed by this. My father spared me from this wound that many men walk around with.

I never doubted that he loved me. He told me so whenever we spoke. We always hugged. When we were children, because he had to leave for work before we left for school, he would leave notes for us to find each morning to let us know how much he loved us. We kissed on the lips whenever we first saw each other, and when we parted. I never doubted my father's love.

That is the greatest gift that a father can give to his son. I consider it a miracle that he had the strength of spirit to be able to give to me what he was never given himself.

I will always love you and I will always miss you.

You are beautiful! ...

I just finished reading a book about the secret life of the soul together with our new community of friends in San Diego. One of the things I learned from the book study is that we all hear things about ourselves that are not true. Sometimes from other people, but often times from ourselves. To know the truth requires much soul searching and listening to God to figure out what's true. It's a quest that I'm daring to venture on.

And today the girls and I started a new venture together, we are taking a sign language class. Our instructor is great and we are all looking forward to learning a new language that can cross all cultural lines.

As a class, we watched this beautiful video that is in sign language. It just really hit me that no matter what others tell us, or even what we tell ourselves. God's truth is that we are beautiful to Him. God loves you completely, without reservation, just as you are. You are enough and just what the world needs. Hope you enjoy the video!



** If you are reading this via facebook you'll need to watch this on my blog; www.sophiacarolina.blogspot.com **

Say amen! ...

The girls and I watched the taking of the presidential oath and swearing in of Barack Obama this morning. What a historic event! Our 44th president, Obama gave an amazing reality based speech that was sobering but also inspiring.

But my personal favorite was the closing benediction by Reverend Joseph E. Lowery, an 87 yr old Civil Rights activist who really speaks from his heart.




*** if you are coming thru facebook, you'll need to watch the video on my blog at www.sophiacarolina.blogspot.com ***

Who are you "validating" today? ...

I looked up the word "validation" on Wikipedia, and there it says;

"Validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and that they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed."

I think that our words to others and our ability to listen generously (that's another topic, from a great podcast I recently heard) can have a huge impact on those around us.

We all have value, God is very clear on this. So I wanted to share with you this great video clip by Viktor Emil Frankl M.D., Ph.D. He was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor and you'll get a good reminder of how we can make such an significant impact on the lives of others by how we treat them.

It also goes hand in hand with this great quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.

Another movie I need to watch this year ...

This looks like a great movie that has some star power behind it; Harrison Ford, Ashley Judd & Ray Liotta. Coming out in August 2009.

"Crossing Over" is about immigrants of different nationalities struggling to achieve legal status in Los Angeles. The film addresses the issue from the point of view of the immigrants, as well as the immigration authorities tasked with enforcing the nation’s immigration laws. I'm hoping that it lives up to the trailer.


Crossing Over - Theatrical Trailer

***If you are reading this on facebook; you'll need to watch the video on my blog by clicking here

Changes ...

I haven't posted a thing for a few weeks, but you probably weren't online much either, right?

During this past holiday break I've had a chance to slow down and think about the present and future. The move to Golden Hill has been good, I seem to be doing good with urban living. The pace here is definitely different, faster in some areas and slower in most. This slower rhythm & pace has been good. Since moving here in October '08, I've taken more walks and read more books then I did in the entire past 2 years. I seem to be adapting to the move to SD in a positive way. Jon said to me the other day "you're in your element." I suppose he's glad that I transplanted well.

So for me the New Year brings reflection and a little bit of dreaming. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. But I do believe in change. I came across this great quote and I'm going to memorize it and maybe even post it on my wall. Maybe you'll like it too.

We are all too much inclined to walk through life with our eyes shut. There are things all around us, and right at our very feet, that we have never seen; because we have never really looked. ~ Alexander Graham Bell

I think that my eyes are starting to see a little more clearly than years gone by. So as we enter this new year of change for us as a family, you as my fellow bloggers, us as a country, all of us as God's kingdom ... my wish for you is to look and see, and become what you were created for.

Also, today I was listening to this song by Finger Eleven entitled "Falling On" from a couple years back and thought it timely to share with you. One of the lines in the song is;

You've got to try to find what's right before your eyes

Now that's something to ponder. Hope you enjoy the video!




ps. They are the group that did the catchy song "One Thing" that got a lot of air time back in '03 - it's also a great song.